Posted by Romeo in
Good Reading! on September 25, 2009 |
1 Comment
This ain't no rookie!
Today we hear about an amazing approach to waking up the staff from our friend Gunnie, who writes:
As the senior cat in my house, I have perfected what can only be called the most effective and most annoying wake-up technique known to humans. Read and learn my furry shaved Persian friends……
Creep quietly into the bedroom making sure that neither of the caretakers is stirring. Place yourself on your back with paws in the air under the bed along the box springs wood edge, extend nails from your two front paws and stick them quietly into the wood.
Start pulling yourself along the edge of the bed inch-by-inch, paw-by-paw, fully extending and pulling your nails in and out of the wood. As you gather speed, give no more pretenses to avoiding noise…the louder the more effective.
As you come to the first corner, you should hear a slight stirring from the caretakers above you. As you get to the second corner, you should hear the distinctive sound of them yelling a name and the word “STOP!”
As you pull your way along the other side enjoying the pleasure you are getting from pulling your nails in and out and in and out of the wood you feel the bed shift; and you know the caretakers are getting ready to fling themselves across the bed to try to grab you up in annoyance and banish you from the room.
Now is the time to use all of your cat instincts and prowess, my friends. Quietly release yourself from the wood and creep under the bed. Once you see the caretaker’s feet hanging over the side of the bed while she looks for you on the other side, quickly, with the stealth of a B2 bomber, exit the room.
Once you are in the clear, run past your sister (who is standing in the hallway), proceed down the stairs and quickly place yourself in a sleeping position inside your cat bed.
While you are catching your breath, listen with pleasure and a Cheshire grin on your face as you hear the caretaker yelling at your poor innocent sister about clawing the bed and do you know what (grumble, grumble, grumble) time it is? (The grumbles are words that cannot be repeated in print)
To take full advantage of your poor sibling’s situation, run up the stairs, stop and stretch as if you were in deep slumber before all the yelling started and look up at your caretaker with complete innocence on your face as you gently rub across her legs with just an utterance of a small meow letting her know how much you love and respect her.
At this point she is so mad at your sister that she will pick you up give you a nice rub and say, “Aren’t you a good kitty, are you hungry?” She will then scowl down at your sister and say to you, “Well as long as I am up, I might as well feed you.” Then to your pleasure you are taken downstairs and served some justly deserved (for a job well done) tuna!
Romeo and Pugs, I hope you can use this technique to your benefit in the near future. It works quite wonderfully and I cannot tell you how great a job it does to shine up your nails and it also gives you that pure cat satisfaction of clawing something!
Best Regards,
Gunnie, The B2 Kitty
O. M. G. Gunnie, you are a master of strategery! It is clear you have worked on this technique for years. It is a bold and experienced kitty who attempts a stunt like this. Woah. We’re in awe. Thanks for sharing! xo, R & P
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