Today, I meowedmeowedmeowed in one of female staff member’s ears.

Am cute. I know this.

Then, I jumped over and meowedmeowedmeowed in the other ear. Still nada.

I decided to try the other ear again but this time just stretched myself out across her face – hind legs on one side of her head, front paws and meower on the other side so she was fully encased in all of my furry belly wonderfulness.

And I meowed again.

Then heard some sort of muffled “Romeo!” sound and got pushed rudely off her face.

But hey! It worked. Allo, BREAKFAST!

Stood squarely on female staff member’s chest this morning and Meowedandmeowedandmeowedandmeowed times infinity until she woke up.

GET UP, GET UP.

By the time BREAKFAST was served, my meower was very tired.

I believe part of what makes me so good at my job is that I am always open to improving and evolving. So, going forward, I may need to pair the incessant meowing with some batting and jumping too.

Must think more on this topic during meditation time(s) today.

Kapow!

NOW GO GET THAT BREAKFAST!

The bottom.

Amazing how one simple move can be so speedily effective at getting BREAKFAST served. Heh heh.

The natives are getting restless.

And there ya go. BREAKFAST, here we come!

Today's bad boy.

Let me begin by saying you guys KNOW the Pugman is my BFF and I don’t really wish him any harm. But man is it annoying when I am always getting in trouble and Pugsley just sits there like a little angel. It’s hard being bad all the time.

But this is not a discussion of roles and responsibilities of feline team members. This is a discussion about how BREAKFAST came to be this morning.

Yesterday the staff manager was stacking up books that she’s planning to give away. Sometimes she’s not that bright and stacked them high and precariously on top of the dresser where Pugs really likes to perch. You see where I am going with this? Yep. This morning Pugsley jumped up on his dresser and accidentally knocked off the books and they came crashing down, scaring the bekitty out of the sleeping staff…..and Pugsley himself!

I almost wish I'd thought of it myself.

Okay, I admit I was startled too. But I was ecstatic to see that the morning’s wake up process was underway and BREAKFAST would be forthcoming without my having to lift a paw or utter a MEOW.

Good job, Pugman!

Sure it's cute but is it really necessary?

If I must be subjected to this “lion cut” as they call it (am lion anyway; don’t need a “cut” to prove that) then I will use it to my full advantage.

Floof in face worked. Hello, BREAKFAST!

Someone very kindly left a sweater sleeve dangling off the drying rack in the bathroom so I could play with it!

But when I bat-bat-batted the dangly part the drying rack moved around and made lotsa ruckus. This did not bother me in the least but staff came running in and said, “What the f#4% is going on in here?!”

So I guess I woke them up. Too bad. Time for BREAKFAST anyway. *Shrug*

The cause of the trouble.

Male staff member woke up first this morning and, as a result, was the target of my efforts.

Now, just because he was awake does not mean he was taking care of the first order of business: BREAKFAST. In fact, he was just laying there like a worthless lump (highly frustrating) so I had to get in his face and MEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOW and do some sneezes so he would get sprayed and perhaps get his butt up and moving. He needs to learn to move faster!

While all of this was going on, the female staff manager was still sleeping but finally rolled over and said, “Where’s Romeo?” At this point I was standing on male’s chest and he had his head turned away from the meows and wet sneezes and had his face all scrunched up.

Male staff: Where do you THINK? He’s all up in MY grill today!
Female: Laughing hysterically (what is funny about being up in his grill? What does that mean anyway? Dumb humans)
Me: Who cares? Someone get UP and get my BREAKFAST!

Finally, once the boss was up, BREAKFAST was served quickly and deliciously. Thank GAWD for semi-competent upper management.

Get with the program, people.

Well, then, maybe you'll move faster next time. Just sayin.

This morning brought some uncertainty at first. The running-screaming-tail-pulling-binky-obsessed-crazy-haired-waving-bye-bye Creature was making noise through the baby monitor thing. But no one was doing anything! I stood there and stood there waiting for someone to take action (read: get Romeo BREAKFAST) but female staff mumbled something about how Creature was just playing in her room.

So it was up to me (isn’t it always?)

I did MEOWMEOWMEOW at female but nothing. So walked across her pillow to go see what male was doing. Made sure to step on female’s hair – close to the scalp as much as possible…..

I heard, “OUCH, ROMEO!!!!!” and I think a bad word. But lo and behold, BREAKFAST came soon after and HIP HIP HOORAY for stepping on hair!