Fursday Wake up Tactic...

Got up, yawned and stretched. Then, bop bop bopped paw on female staff member’s cheek. Then, bopped her on her forehead. No response. Hopped over her head and, remembering what a good job male staff member did with BREAKFAST last week, meowed into his ear. And meowed. And meowed.

He did not disappoint! BREAKFAST was served quickly and efficiently. And heated.

Meow!

YAWN! Ready to face another day of.....naps.

Wednesday Wake up Tactic...

Poked female staff manager in the mouth. That was all it took today. NICE.

When you're this cute you can pretty much do whatever you want.

Tuna Tuesday Wake up Tenacity...

Have decided the more the staff ignores me in the morning, the more aggressive I shall be in my pursuit. When one Romeo is pushed away, the force of 10 more Romeos shall come back to claim BREAKFAST.

Today this worked. Staff was not happy. But BELLY was.

Meow Monday Wake up!...

This morning I used a multi-faceted approach that worked quite nicely.

First, meowed. Then, stood on female staff manager’s chest with front paws. Meowed. Then, got whole body on her chest, looked down on her and meowed. Meowed. Meowed. Meowed. I also dropped a little bit of drool on her face. When she turned her head to avoid getting slimed, I took full advantage of access to her ear and closed in. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. MEOW. MEOW. MEOW.

And….she was UP. BREAKFAST time, baby!

Am phantom in the morn.

Friday Guest Wake up Genius...

Noni lounges with some friends.

His staff writes:

“Noni’s latest is great (for him.)

Checking to be sure I am fast asleep, he rubs his whiskers on my face very lightly. He waits a few seconds. Then he does it again. I wiggle my nose.

And he ever so lightly rubs his whiskers on my face, again. Within seconds of his second pass, I wake up, mumbling ‘what the fu*k?!’

This, he knows, is ‘human’ for ‘ok, ok, you win, I’ll feed you.’

Bugger.”

Hee hee! Noni sure knows how to get BREAKFAST and fast! I hope you’re paying that staff of yours well, Noni! xo.

Fursday Wake up Tactic...

This morning I learned an important lesson: look to the lower ranks of your staff for promising talent.

Stood over female staff manager and Meow. Meow. Meow. No response. As usual. Then, male staff member stared to stir. Now, I don’t usually pester him for BREAKFAST but this morning he quickly became a person of interest.

So, hopped over female staff’s head and Meow. Meow. Meowed at male. And Booyah! BREAKFAST was served.

I must focus on the male staff member more often. He really has a lot of potential.

Always be on the lookout for opportunity.

Whisker Wednesday Wake up Tactic...

Today employed my most prized and effective weapons: da whiskers.

Put face REALCLOSE to staff’s face and tickle, tickle, tickle. Soft meow (reear). Tickle, tickle, tickle. Soft meow (reear).

Staff cannot take tickly wickly in her face and she was up! BREAKFAST came chugging along very soon!

If you had 'em, you'd use 'em too!

Meow Monday Wake up Tactic...

Started the day as usual, meow. Meow. MEOW. Then put paw on female staff member’s face. Was rudely brushed aside.

But then I spied something irresistible: a box. A box with PAPER in it. OMIGOD, BINGO!

Abandoned the bed and jumped into the box, rustling and playing with paper and generally making a huge nuisance of myself. This worked beautifully and BREAKFAST was served!

Did you really think I was NOT going to find - and leverage - this box?

Friday Guest Waker-Upper...

He looks innocent......but I see that tell tale glint in his eye.

Greetings from Ohio, Romeo!!

I’m Little Dude, so named because I was found by a friendly farmer all alone under some hay. I was a litter of one! Strange, huh? I’m now a house kitty of one… and still a little dude. But, this works in my favor when it comes to breakfast. My staff has started feeding me (and only me!!) wet food every morning, the holy grail of kitty fare. I always know when the sun rises that I’m only hours away from this delicious gourmet treat, so I start the slow preparation of getting staff out of bed to feed me. (Note: this is a tedious process and I recommend it only for the brave and for those with staff who don’t wake up easily.)

Step one: About an hour before staff’s alarm usually goes off, paw at her forehead until she is half awake. Be sure to stand behind head to avoid swats. When she rolls over, scurry under the covers beside her.

Step two: This is the waiting game. Slide in between staff’s arms and purr, keeping her half awake. This is getting her thinking about the fact that you want breakfast and reminds her just how adorable you are, under the covers and keeping her warm and such.

Step three: After she falls back a sleep, come out from under the covers. Gently keep tapping her face, like Chinese Water Torture… Tap. Tap. Tap. As she starts to wake up, step it up—use your claws a little and paw at her lip. Even if staff grabs paw for a second, continue. Your persistence will pay off. Keep Tapping. Keep pawing

Step four: She’s up!!! Hurry to the Bathroom!!! It’s BREAKFAST!!!

God speed, Romeo!!

Sincerely,
Little Dude

Hee hee, Little Dude. I like your style, especially the Chinese Water Torture and leveraging claws ever so slightly to encourage a faster reaction. NICE. Thanks for writing!

Thursday Wake up Tactic – PP Gets in Trouble...

The Pugman Groometh

Well, you all know Perfect Pugsley has very few faults. And you also know that his big downfall is that he is THE LOUDEST GROOMER. He snorts, chorts, snuffs, grunts, slurps and disturbs anyone in his immediate surroundings. Heck, even the Tail-pulling-screaming-running-tantrum-throwing-goldfish-cracker-eating Creature stops and takes notice when the Pugman is at work on his plumage.

So when he decides to groom himself in the big bed? In the morning? On the female staff member’s pillow? Is he in for it. Gotta admit, it’s kinda fun to watch.

Here’s how things go:

1. The staff starts by poking him to get him to stop. This does no good.
2. Then the staff opens her eyes and says, “Pugsley! STOP.” Again, no good.
3. Then she shoves him off the pillow. He simply moves a few inches and resumes his activity.
4. Finally, she has to physically get up and remove him from the bed.
5. All this happens while I sit sweetly by, watching this whole scene unfold.

Luckily today the Pug did this within the range of acceptable wake up times so BREAKFAST was a direct result. If he does it too early, staff kicks us out of the room and we’re screwed.

Way to go, Pugman!