Okay, so my friends at Feline Pine and I have cooked up a really fun contest for y’all. It’s our “If Cats Could Talk” contest. Now, clearly we all know cats can talk (and blog and tweet, etc.) but we’re just going to have to humor our humans a bit here.
So here’s how this works. In the comments section, tell me what you’d say if your silly, silly humans could understand you. For example, I would say, “GIVE ROMEO MORE TUNA.” You may have different priorities.
We’ll be collecting entries until June 29th at 9 p.m. EST and then do a drawing to determine the winner, who will be announced on June 30th. And I am so sorry but only U.S. entries please.
So what does this lucky winner get? $150 worth of FREE all-natural Feline Pine cat litter! Let me tell you, I can attest that this stuff is awesome. It’s completely natural and toxin-free so there’s no danger to Pugsley, me or even the Crawling Creature who (unfortunately) also hangs out on the floor with us a lot these days.
If you use Feline Pine you already know how great it is. If you don’t but would like to try it, now’s your chance.
Extra credit! If you make a donation to our organization of the month, Angels for Animals, you’ll get an extra entry.
Can’t wait to see your responses. Mwah!
{ 68 comments… read them below or add one }
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Winston the big footed pixie-bob would say “Rub my belly please. No, not my head, my belly. No, not my ears, my belly. No, absolutely no playing with my feet, rub my belly. No, don’t play with my tail I want my belly rubbed. Don’t you understand, I am laying on my back for a reason, I WANT MY BELLY RUBBED you stupid humanoid idiot.”
I, Birdie, would say “oh pulease scratch under my chin darling” (in a snooty British accent of course)!
Zeus would say “I love my mommy for giving me lots of treats, every time I ask. But, it would be nice for her to be awake 23/7 so that I don’t have to chew through the treat bag in the middle of the night to get my treats. Also, I love how my mommy brushes me all the time and how she rubs my belly and let’s me kneed hers”.
Hello! There are two of us Feline Fancies.
Madi (male tuxedo) would say: “PLLEEASE turn the sunbeams on so I can bask outside in my Kritter Kondo”
Abi (the cute Blonde Female) would say
“Mommy if you love me you will stay home from work and tend to my every need today”
Thanks Romeo!!!
Are you joking?????? You think watching Speidi on ET is more interesting than playing with me????
my cats would say thank you so much for good litter after being strays now we have a clean place to go.no more out in the dirt or mud.
Sibebe: Please give me more food. I don’t care if I become morbidly obese.
Bing would say: Now listen my dear, I will sit here on your newspaper while you try to read it until you have acknowledged that I am the Supreme Leader of this household and that all of my demands must be met. So feed me now! Oh and yes, a head scratch would be nice, too.
Scarlett would say: Mom, I want you to brush me! Mom, I want you to rub my belly! Mom, I want to watch the birds and squirrels through the window. Mom, I want to sit on the bathroom vanity every morning while you get ready for work. (Don’t mind the hair I leave on the front of your shirt.) Mom, btw, I love you for buying such awesome Feline Pine litter!
“You’re kidding me with this pit bull puppy right?”
I have seven cats. All would say the same thing: “More please.”
Doesn’t matter more of what.
Loki would say, MOMMMM, MOM, MOMMMMMM
And Pinkerton would say, food? Did someone say food. Wet please.
Forte would say: “Moms, I know you tried to raise me more like a dog, but I am a cat. I am sorry to disappoint you. I meow. I use a litter box. I’m a beautiful, bit boy cat. Not a dog. You’ve got 2 of them already. Sheesh.”
Jasmine would say: “I need more attention. I know, I know, I am constantly in your laps, rubbing against your legs, and demanding attention, but there will never be enough. Maybe you should get a sort of kitty carrier you can wear? That would be awesome. Oh, and I love being a pint-sized adult princess… I’m not a kitten, but you can’t help but treat me like one. LOVE ME! Pamper me. Can I have a pretty pink bed?”
P.S. We love Feline Pine!!
Since Miss Poofy is royalty:
“Pardon Me, would you have any Grey Poupon?”
There is so much drama in Raleigh, it’s kinda hard being Snoop D O double G – especially when your name is P.Kitty.
Kyle, the senior family member, wishes to be left alone. He says “leave me in peace in the sunshine, make sure I have plenty of cool water and fresh edible delicacies, and pet me only when requested to do so!”.
Kenny, as the middle child, is very needy. He says “Pet me, play with me, let me go outside with you, I want to sleep on your pillow, just give me love!!”
The youngest, Chuck, hasn’t quite gotten used to the family dynamic. He is very self-centered right now. “I want to play, I want to tackle the dog, I want to chew on your hand! Oops, nap time!”
The kitties at the shelter slowly circle the box, noses twitching in anticipation. “Hmmm…. it looks like food… but the smell…” long, deep inhale… “Pine?” Tests the scent again. “It IS pine! Finally! The humans have given in and given us our own pine tree! Dig in, boys!”
Get off the computer and finish cooking that chicken we smell. Oh and don’t forget the catnip chaser, after which we will all take a long nap in your bed. What’s wrong with you and all that finger typing.
well, some of us already told Mama what to write but will tell y’all again here. We, I, Yowee, told Mama to get right over to Romeo’s site and leave a comment cause we are getting low on the pine litter and it’s still a long time till what Mama calls her SS ck comes in. And I, Yowee, am here to tell you that we, well most of us, don’t like nothing in our boxes except the pine litter cause it smells so good. I also told her it was time for dinner so get off the puter! MOL
Siouxsie would say: Siouxsie wants to know what you’re doing on that little puter thingy in your hand
Fela Kiti would say “really, Luna? can’t a guy get some peace around here?”
Ayla would say “OH! waters!! I likes the waters in the sink! you didn’t tell me you was runnin’ the waters” & giggle uncontrollably
Luna Fae would simply smile & say thank you for loving me
All: The food and water is adequate, but want more of the wet stuff in intriguingly rattling cans, more treats.
Monster Jack: I’ll just fetch a bag of those treats from the cupboard for you and chew on them first. i can fetch a bag of the empty rattly cans, too
All: Pet me. Both hands! Now use that massage-y thing on us, the one with the handle. Top of the head, along the sides, groom it, girl, that’s good, you’re getting the hang of it — no, not there! — back to the top of the head, good, good, good, DON’T STOP!
Pi: leave the water on in the faucet, more than a drip, but not a real stream and then leave us. Oh, all right, i suppose you can stay, i’m too thirsty to argue.
Little Doll: i find it odd that you never lick me. you say you love me but . . .
Princess: well, if you don’t let me out, where am I supposed to go? Certainly not in the same box as the rest of those creatures.
Mesmer: you mean i can walk right up to you, ask for a petting and get one? waddadeal!
Snooky: i’m a kiiitty and i’m so preeetty and my momma loooves me
All: What’s in the big thing that’s cold? Anything for us?
Marina: Look at me. Don’t touch me. Let me sit on you. Don’t pet me. Scratch me, ooh, right there, right there. That’s enough. Look at me. Don’t touch me.
Tosca: Let me out, let me in, let me out, let me in, let me out let me in. Snuggle snuggle, let me chew on your hand.
Big Kitty sez bring on the bread – white, whole grain or even sourdough – bring on the bread!
Little Baby Kitty would say “stop trying to pick me up already, I’m not that kind of cat”
Let me tell you… I keep telling mama but does she listen? NO!!
Lilly… mama, you need to find that furry bowling ball another home. I am 19 years old. Do you think I need a 5 year old following me around? Does the hissing and growling not get through? You TELL her to leave me alone, but does she listen? Hmph… if only you could see what she gets up to when you’re not home. She’s evil I tell you! Evil! It’s that fur… I think all the hair has grown into her brain and driven her insane! If you shaved her and made her look seriously humiliated, I might consider letting her continue to share this home. But come on… have you SEEN the fur? She likes Taz… let her go live with Taz. I don’t CARE if nana doesn’t like kitties in her house… I need peace!!
~feels her little heart racing~
See what this “kitten” does to me? My old heart can’t take over-excitement… banish her I say!!
Maxwell would say: “I am the king. All shall worship me. I am a benevolent ruler, allowing my help to feed me, clean my box, and pet me….WHAT?! Who told the Help they could bring in DOGS?! Must plot their demise….”
Oh, I’m a small cat in a big world! It’s best to be cautious; look before you leap. Um, that means you, Victor. If I lie under a blanket, scary things go away, right?
More treats more times per day! ::spin:: Please?
(I really do spin when I really want something – I taught Mom my trick)
Gabby would say “so what if I can’t figure out how to cover my own poop and I am a year old, thats what I have my staff around for!”
Gunnie would say “since that damn little cat got around here the box stinks. Who ever heard of a cat that can’t cover it’s own poop?” “That’s what the staff gets for trying to replace me!”
I’m pure Siamese and would like to make suggestions on how I want my day. Morning, breakfast as usual. Clean box, the usual. Then, take me outside on harness to enjoy the day a few hours. Then, let me have first dibs at 2 yr old daughter, Rachel’s yogurt. Play with me, then hold me a few hours while I nap. I love to snuggle. No loud noises and your comfy bed will do fine. Then, more play time. More love and petting. Maybe an evening of the outdoors on harness again. Then, fluff up my bed for me to sleep for the night.
) Hehe
Liger: “Moooom!!! The other cats are picking one me!”
Fuzzie and Lil Mouth: “We are not!”
K.C., “What’s up with this, my food bowl is EMPTY AGAIN and there is a mouse in the water bowl….MOM!!”
Bear, “Give me CATNIP and not that dried stuff, I want the real thing tasty, green and ALIVE!!”
Shadow, “I want my supper NOW, and give me the GOOD STUFF, no chicken or turkey I want SEAFOOD and when I am done I want a ride in my stroller ALONE!!”
Snoopur, “All the milk jug rings are MINE! All the BACON is MINE!! All the treats are MINE! That catnip bush is MINE, so take a hike Bear…HHHHHIIIISSSS!”
Axl would say “It’s true. The world does revolve around me.”
And….my kitties all love feline pine.
Where the hell did these dogs come from? I don’t recall anyone asking me. They are loud, they eat my food and worst of all they take up bed space.
Don’t even get me started on the kid.
“Ur doin’ that wrong.”
“Did you forget where the food is, stupid human? *sigh* Let me show you where it is. This way. Nooo, THIS way!”
If the felines could talk…
Zoe would ask, “Why can we not leave the tub faucet dripping all the time? It’s the best water in the house. Seriously. Quit turning the water off, or I shall interrupt you on your funny looking litter box every time you are on it. Pet my head.”
Montana would say, “I want to go outside. You keep TELLING me there are bad people and sick animals and those roaring beasts that speed past our house, and these things will hurt me. I don’t care. I saw a bird. Let me out. Do you see me scratching at the door? The glass is blocking my access to outside. C’mon. I’m being cute and purring. You know you love kitty-boy. I am so soft and cute. Soft and cute should get me some time outside. Open the door! Wait… why are you closing the heavy wood door? NO! Don’t do that… i was… so close…” (Montana is a VERY talkative boy.)
My cats, Ella and Tinoket, have a Livejournal. They use that to communicate.
http://kittythebits.livejournal.com/
On a daily basis, they say a lot to me.
Tinky: Mom! Mom! What is it? Where is it? Snackies! Here we go! Pet my belly.
Ella: I hate it. Scritch my head. Tinky is silly. Mom, I hate it. No touchies. Give me tuna!
My cat, Oso, would say “And while we are addressing my needs, exactly when will you be be getting rid of those two whiny a$$ dogs?”
My dozen kitties would say “If you’re gonna keep rescuing the outdoor guys, we need a house, more food, and more kitty litter! Not that cheap stinky clay stuff either!”
One of my cats would say “Oh, you ignorant fool. How do you not know that I posses super powers and fight evil whilst you are away at work? No roach, no mouse, no evil older sister tabby shall prevail. I will be the victor and then I will nap.”
my kitty would say ” why can’t we get rid of that smelly dog , he eats all my food “
i would say “i’m gonna lay on this couch all day long, till you sit down, then i lay on the key board while you type. just try and stop me”
my sister bugums would say “scratch my head NOW! thats much better, now to claw your belly till you cry”
and my other sister dixie would say “human up? better run behind the tv where they cant get me to put me out. and now to claw out the speaker and make them mad”
We’d say, Jan, get off the computer. It’s our turn!
The cats I know would say “Bring me food and begone, human!”
Thank you for a fabulous giveaway!
Little Bit would quite arrogantly say, “I’m the man!”
Marmalade would say – “Don’t touch me. Give me Pounce – now!”
Jack would say – “Let me outside – now!”
Sherbert would say – “Rub my belly!”
Ok, I have 4 kitties (wait, technically 5, even though I haven’t picked up Barney from the Vet yet) – here are their answers (oldest to youngest)
Floyd: “French Fries. Give me French Fries. I want those French Fries. Why aren’t you giving me French Fries? PLEASE give me French Fries. If you don’t I will touch them. Ha, now you have to give it to me. Wait, why didn’t you give that to me. French Fries!!!!”
Kirzon: “Let me under the blanket. Please, blanket. Share the blanket. Wait, maybe if I tap your shoulder. Oh, thanks for that – I love being under the blanket”
Lola: “Go away, I am sleeping. No, don’t move me. Fine, you move me but I will just move to the same place again. Ha Ha, told you so.”
Virgil: “Bzzzzz” (he moves so fast sometimes I have to assume he would just sound like a blip going by)
Barney: “Hi. Thanks for wanting to be my mom.”
The Farm cats around here would say,” Pricilla STOP butting us! We don’t like to be butted halfway across the field. In spite of what you think CATS DO NOT FLY.”
Mamma are you going to the store? Pick up more cat treats and stop buying that grainy cat litter (it hurts my sensitive tush).
We’d say….”Hey lady, please put the camera away for one day!”
Hello! My kitties each have distinct personalities.
Henry, the snuggle bug, would say “Love me. Please, please, please. Pay attention. I love you. Do you love me? Please! Hey! Please!”
Charlie is much more aloof, so he would say, “If you fit into my design for life, I might consider making room for you. Please serve me.”
Charlie and Henry both use Feline Pine. They love it!
I would tell Daddy that he needs to be more diligent in keep my food supply stocked.
I would tell Mama to Hold me RIGHT NOW! LOVE ME! Stop typing on that dumb computer and HOLD ME! MOL!
Ps. I loves Feline Pine litter! Is all Mama will buy for me, is awesome stuff! No smells at all!
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